Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Perfectly Styled Stumbling Blocks
Hi friends. It feels nice (and kind of strange) to be back in this space. I was supposed to post something last week, but the week just didn't allow it. And Anne and I aren't holding ourselves to any deadlines or standards this go 'round (right Anne?) - so I tried not to feel guilty about my tardiness.
One of the things Nate and I did in the year and a half of Bloom absence was buy a home. (We also made a baby! Hooray! She'll join our bunch in early June...we're tickled to add another little soul to our crew).
Anyway...back to the house. This is the home we hope to raise our children in and live for...I don't know...thirty years? It's been an interesting feeling, settling into a space that we hope to be for the very long term. Really comforting in some ways and a little overwhelming in others. It's kind of intimidating to pick paint colors and rugs and couches when you hope to keep those things for many, many years. When you're trying to buy nice instead of twice. When you're trying to do things right the first time. I'm embarrassed to admit that I've been on the edge of tears several times over paint colors -- I mean, really...of all the problems! The ridiculousity did not escape me.
I've been looking for couches for over three months now. Giving way too much contemplation to the perfect choice - the texture of the fabric, wanting something cozy, but not sloppy. Sturdy and durable and still economical. Sleek and nice looking and still inviting and snuggle-friendly.
I think there are two things at play:
1. I thought I was good at this kind of thing. I thought I knew just what I liked. I trusted my sense of style and space. Now I'm not so sure. My design self-esteem has taken a serious hit as I've made some real blunders over the past few months. Nate's starting to question my judgement; that stings.
and 2. The other night while I was brushing my teeth I realized that I am letting way too many external considerations weigh in on these decisions. What will my stylish friends think? Is this on trend with Pinterest boards and decor magazines? I've totally been guilty of letting the perfect be the enemy of the good. So the other night in front of the mirror, with foamy toothpaste dripping down my chin, I looked at myself in the mirror and told myself to stop being ridiculous. I told myself to go ahead with confidence - not worrying about what Pinterest or anyone else thinks about my design choices. (Heavens! I don't even have a Pinterest account - no boards, no pins, no followers. I just slipped into the trap last week while looking for ideas for a DIY fire pit for the backyard).
I gave myself permission to paint a chalkboard wall in the kitchen and finish out the secret room and build a fire pit before styling the living room because even if those things seem absurd to anyone else...who cares. This is our space. It only needs to work for our life. It only needs to reflect our style - creative and relaxed and minimal. And goodness sakes, what I really care about is what's growing within these walls (love, creativity, confidence, capability, unity) - not what's hanging on them or what color they're painted.
Do you ever find yourself letting the perfect become the enemy of the good? (I like that phrase; been thinking about it a lot lately in several different aspects of my life).